Growing Your Church Younger

As a Ministry Consultant for The Unstuck Group, I have been fortunate to serve churches of all sizes and denominations. While each church differs, there is always one common theme; they want to reach young families (or continue reaching young families). Even older people enjoy being around young people. Unfortunately, the want doesn’t always result in the reach. There is nothing quite disheartening than a Sunday morning service that lacks the sound of a crying baby or walking past an empty nursery. That’s a scary silence for any church, because it means the congregation is aging. 

When young families are absent, speaking permission for other young families also becomes absent. Our speaking permission is determined by those whom we have close relationships with. As we get older, our friends become older. This is one of the reasons it is imperative to continually reach young families. They have speaking permission with others who are in the same age and stage of life. 

The absence of young families isn’t normally something that happens immediately, but eventually. Because of this, there needs to be an intentional, continual effort to obtain good perspective on the reach (or the lack thereof) of young families, ensuring the next generation is always a front burner conversation. 

Where’s the Evidence?

I just recently served a church that clearly understood the need to grow younger. Their median age was mid-50’s to 60’s. During our time together, the pastor said, “Our children’s ministry feels like a ghost town on Sunday morning.” It was evident that everyone in the room wanted to reach young families, but again, there is a difference in want and reach. One is a desire, the other is a result. So I asked the team a very important question, “Where’s the evidence that proves your church values young families? What does the kid’s experience look like on Sunday? How are you engaging with young parents?” Very quickly, one of the team members said, “Our worn out, un-mowed playground certainly would not qualify as evidence.” And he was exactly right. When young families pull on the property and see an unkept play area, it tells a story that kids aren’t a high value. If you want to win young families, you have to win the kids and there needs to be visible evidence that you value kids. 

Kid’s Ministry: It doesn’t take long for parents to make a decision whether or not kids ministry is a high value to a church. Here are some good questions and best practices to get the conversation started: 

1. The First Impression

• The kids area should be themed, updated and fun upon arrival. There needs to be a wow factor on the front end. Kids should see the entrance and want to run into it. 

• The goal is to capture both the parent and the child. Everything from fun colors, cool themes, clean floors, tidy bathrooms and aromas can make the experience appealing to parents and children. 

• Ascetically investing in the kids area can pay dividends in return (because it creates visible evidence). You only have one chance to make a first impression. 

2. Radical Hospitality

• Too often, greeters and hospitality teams are solely focused on the adult worship service. While that is important, the kids area is also great place to create hospitality strategies specifically designed to impact parents and kids. 

• Create hospitality teams and put them in the right places and spaces to greet new families and their children when they arrive in the kids area. 

• Ensure they have a good script that’s intentionally made for new families. The number one reason people come back to church for a second time is the friendliness of the church. This means you need warm, extroverted people (with seatbelts), serving on these teams. Ideally, you want these teams to look like the people you’re trying to reach. 

• Most churches have a first time guest strategy for new adults, that includes a gift and some sort of follow up. Do something similar for first time guest kids. Make the kid feel like a VIP. Send a postcard or a gift card to the local ice cream shop. This helps parents know your church values children. 

3. A Safe Place 

• The children's area should be top priority and the safest place in the entire church. If the church were a bank, kids ministry needs to be the vault. 

• Parents need the assurance that children are in good hands each weekend. Because of this, it is critical that safety measures around kids ministry are highly visible, including on your website. Families will google you before they visit you. 

• Every kids area should have child check in station that not only captures children’s information, but also serve as a barrier to keep unauthorized people out. Young families need to feel the security when they check in their child. 

• It is a best practice to keep the kids area on the same floor and vicinity as the adult worship area. In other words, keep the kids close and the babies closer. 

• Parents need to know how they will be communicated with in the event their child needs them during service.  It’s never a matter of if, but when. 

All of these practices can be a deal breaker for whether or not young families return for another visit. 

High Attendance Sundays: There are different Sundays throughout the year where churches can expect a higher than normal attendance. How a church builds and markets these particular Sundays/series can impact reaching younger families. Some of those high attendance Sundays are Easter, Mother’s Day, Family day (usually in the fall) and the Sunday before Christmas.

• Create sermon series around these questions: What are young parents dealing with? What are some of the challenges they're facing? Title the series in a compelling way that not only speaks to young families in your church, but would compel them to invite their friends. 

• Market Mother's Day in a way that is appealing to young mothers and their children. Create an invite strategy for your current members to bring their mom friends who are outside of faith. Market what the kids will be doing that day for moms. 

• In addition to planning Easter and Christmas as big days, make the entire Easter and Christmas month an invite month (when the calendar makes sense) that leads up to "the big day." Build and market a series that is appealing to young families. Use the prior weeks as an invite challenge for your members.

• Whenever there’s a kid focus on big days (like Easter and Christmas), overemphasize and over-communicate why every kid would want to be there (make it worth their time). Young families are always looking for fun, safe experiences for their children (more details on this in the next section). In essence, you want to market those special days to smell like a kid-event or experience, in addition to a worship service. 

Strategic Kid Events and Experiences: Kid events and experiences can be a main driver to bring young families on your campus. While there is a danger in having too many (I recommend 3-4 per year), having none or having the wrong ones can result in missed opportunities. 

• There are four typical BIG kid-driven event opportunities each year; 1) Easter 2) School’s out/Summer 3) Fall/Halloween and 4) Christmas.

• Although Christmas Sunday and Easter Sunday really aren’t events, they are certainly experiences that can be marketed towards the parents and the children. For example, pics with Santa, Christmas cookies, egg hunts, pics with the bunny, etc etc, if marketed right, can be a draw for young families, regardless of their spiritual background. 

Here are some examples of what our church did in 2023 and 2024. These events and experiences were targeted towards reaching young families.  

• In October 2023, we marketed a Candy Maze for Halloween. We had over 1,500 people (that were not our own people) attend and hundreds registered for giveaways (which provided data for follow up and invite strategies). 

• In December 2023, we marketed The Story before Christmas. We communicated the entire month was Christmas month, with each Sunday having its own fun Christmas element. The kids had a special Christmas experience each week as well, all leading into Christmas Sunday (the Sunday before Christmas). We had record attendance (again) with so many new young families attending.

• In March 2024, we marketed a Candy Hunt that took place directly after all three services on Easter. As a result, we had record attendance (tons of young families). Kids had to register for the candy hunt, so we were able to obtain their data for follow-up and future invites. 

• In June 2024, we marketed a Summer Kick Off that took place directly after our third service. Again, record kid attendance and tons of new names of young families in our data base for follow up and future invites. 

As a result of prayerful planning and intentionally targeting young families, (since January 1, 2024), our attendance has grown 47% and we have baptized 80 people who said yes Jesus for the first time. The vast majority of those baptisms were young adults and children. 

The Unstuck Group offers different services to help churches increase their impact, including a Health Assessment and Strategic Planning. We would love to have a conversation with you about how we may serve your church.